Fear (pt.2)

“And when I’m gone, just carry on, don’t mourn

Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice

Just know that I’m looking down on you smiling,

And I didn’t feel a thing,

So, baby, don’t feel no pain

Just smile back”

So our name was called and we put on our jumpsuits. Me and Dubai both looked like idiots but none could do. My instructor was Dave, he was in his 40s, he looked like he knew what he would be doing. Right.

“So how long have you been skydiving for?”

“33 years now”

“Wow! It must have been your passion then!”

“It used to be, not anymore.”

That’s it, I’m out. This guy had lost his meaning in life, he found no thrill in skydiving anymore, meaning he found no thrill in life either, and that meant he was prepared to die.

But then I thought, this guy had 33 years under his belt and if I told him how much this jump meant to me, he might not commit suicide and killed the both of us. So I told him I had never went on roller coasters before. He nodded. That proved useful later.

Since the cameraman left his camera in the office; I became the last to board the plane. That meant I would be the first to jump out of that goddamn kite. The guy who was scared the most was the first to jump out. Ha.

Speaking of the cameraman he was another antisocial legend too. This guy had probably done this too repetitively he didn’t even bother talking to me; he would only take the shots he needed to make the video look good and the rest of the time he would pull out that goddamn straight face. So that meant I only had my instructor to talk to, and he was bored at his job too.

The plane took off. It soared through the clouds and reached 10,000ft. I didn’t know I would jump at an altitude higher than the clouds and honestly it was so much higher than I thought.

My cameraman suddenly gave me a thumbs-up and shook my hands. I had no idea what was about to happen, but according to the book of curtesy I shook his hands and gave him a thumbs-up too. He then proceeded to open the gate.

Wind was gusting into the cabin and I was looking at that massive hole in the cabin in surprise. Never have I ever been on a plane with a massive hole at the back and outside is nothing, nothing until 10,000 ft under.

We shuffled to the gate. He told me I would be sitting on the ledge of the plane. He lied. HE WAS SITTING ON THE LEDGE and I was sitting on nothing. That was a massive tease; my legs are dangling in the void space and I knew I would be freefalling in any minute. It felt like a giant had me on a string and I’m just there, swinging back and forth.

The instructor didn’t even bother counting down. He simply said, ‘are you ready?’. But that isn’t for me either, that’s for the cameraman. The cameraman dived into the void space and all in a sudden I was tumbling in mid-air. My vision was spinning; the sky and the earth were intertwining and when we were finally stabilized, it was the most incredible sight I have ever seen: I was falling through the clouds, I put my hands out and I was touching clouds. There was no reference for speed and the earth was so far away I thought I was floating in the air. The view was phenomenal, it felt like a suicide bomber planted a bomb, the plane exploded and you are gliding back to earth with your long-sleeved jacket. It was amazing; it was so amazing I kept my mouth open and my mouth had never been drier before.

Dave remembered he was on a mission to make me braver and decided he shouldn’t die at that jump; he decided to make that jump worthy. He opened the chute and saved my life. I looked at the earth under me. I was definitely alive. HO-HEY!

So that’s it, the thing that used to frighten me so much and I had such a good time in it. I had never thought of challenging myself until I said that out as a joke, and this joke became the reality. But the best feeling after-all, was that tumble out of the plane to nothing.

What have I learnt in the process? Well, I’m smarter than my brain; just because my brain was telling me not to do it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. I’m an engineer now, I work with Math and statistics. If it has proven to work, trust the facts and figures.

With that being said, I wouldn’t never do skydiving again in my life. Bin that.